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For Family and Friends

Review the information below to learn information and resources about your role as a family member or friend of a UMD student and how to offer assistance when that student may be experiencing mental health challenges.

Starting college is a time of transition that can be exciting, challenging, and scary, not only for students but also for their families. When your student goes off to college, you will both encounter changes that may require adjustment to your usual way of navigating your relationship.

Families of new college students commonly worry about how their student will manage college-level academic work, how they will handle new responsibilities, and whether they will develop a supportive social group. Families may also worry about their student developing new interests, values, and beliefs, and how that will affect your relationship with them.

Tips for Parents and Family

  • Stay in touch and communicate openly. Express interest in your student's life at college while being respectful of their independence. Your student may do things differently than you did at the same age--and that is okay. Be an active listener in the conversation.
  • Offer support in a nonjudgmental way. If you are concerned about your student, share your concern without conveying judgment. If you are asked for help or advice, offer it. Be wary of offering too much advice if it isn’t asked for. Try sharing observations and feelings rather than opinions and advice.
  • Empower students to help themselves. When your student is experiencing a problem, allow them to take an active and equal role in the problem-solving process to develop the skills and confidence to deal with challenges. Your student is on a campus with immense resources and support to aid in the process of navigating their growing autonomy.
  • Be aware of the common concerns new students face. If your student is struggling to figure out this big campus, make new friends, stay on top of classwork, or develop a sense of belonging at college, this is completely normal. Offer reassurance to your student that this is common and suggest some of the campus resources designed to address these concerns.
  • Be realistic about grades. The transition to college-level coursework is difficult, so students who excelled in high school may struggle with academics in college. Be supportive rather than punitive if your student is struggling and direct them to the many academic resources on campus. Keep in mind that it is common for students to switch majors and take more than 4 years to graduate.
  • Ask for help. Seek assistance or counseling for yourself when you feel challenged by this transition. You can serve as a model for help-seeking that may encourage your student to do the same when they are struggling.

Below you will find answers to common questions asked by families of UMD students. For more general questions about the Counseling Center and our services, please review our comprehensive FAQ page.

Are my student’s concerns appropriate for the Counseling Center?

Students come to the Counseling Center with a variety of concerns, including adjustment difficulties, depression, anxiety, loneliness, career indecision, identity concerns, stress management, relationship difficulties, grief, procrastination, and more. There are no concerns too big or too small to start with a brief assessment at the Counseling Center.

Can I make an appointment for my student?

Appointments are made by the student. The student can either call the Counseling Center at (301) 314-7651 or come to Shoemaker Building to schedule an appointment.

Will the Counseling Center reach out to my student to encourage them to seek help?

The Counseling Center supports each student’s agency to make decisions about their mental health care. As such, the Counseling Center does not initiate the start of services with students. Instead, we give students the autonomy to decide if and when they would like to utilize our services. We share information about our services with students across campus and encourage you to do the same with your student. If you would like help learning how to talk with your student about seeking services, please see the “Consult with a Counselor” tab on this page for information about consultation.

Can I talk with my student’s counselor about their progress or access my student’s counseling records?

Counseling Center records are confidential. The Counseling Center follows professional ethical standards and all state and federal laws regarding confidentiality. Your student’s written permission is necessary before any information about your student’s Counseling Center experience can be released.

Can the Counseling Center help me figure out how to support my student?

Yes, we would be happy to consult with you if you are concerned about your student’s mental health. Please review the tab on this page titled “Consult with a Counselor” to learn more about how to do this. Please note that we cannot share information we have about a student without the student’s consent.

If you notice that a friend or fellow student is struggling or you are concerned about changes in their behavior, attitudes, health, hygiene, academic performance, or interpersonal interactions, you can offer support and remind them of the resources available on campus to seek help. 

Here are some tips for supporting your friends or peers who may be struggling: 

  • Share your concerns. Be direct and specific in sharing what you have observed that concerns you. Avoid using judgmental or vague language.
  • Use active listening. Listen carefully to what the other person says instead of focusing on what you will say next. Summarize or paraphrase what the person has said to ensure you have heard correctly and so that the other person feels understood.
  • Respond with empathy and care. Let the person know that you care. Validate their feelings and experiences. Focus more on helping the person feel understood and cared for rather than on giving advice.
  • Ask how you can be helpful. Explicitly express your desire to help. Ask the person what they need, rather than assuming what they need.
  • Offer resources. Learn about the available resources on campus so that you can provide this information (and have it for yourself) when needed. Campus resources for various types of concerns can be reviewed on each of our Common Student Concerns pages.

If you would like to consult with a mental health professional about how to help a fellow UMD student, you can come to the Counseling Center or call us at (301) 314-7651.

Parents, guardians, and other loved ones who have concerns about the mental health of their UMD student may consult with Counseling Center staff by calling the Warmline, which is a non-emergency consultation service. Callers can explore options for helping students address their difficulties. 

Some examples of student-related concerns discussed by Warmline callers:

  • Signs of anxiety and depression
  • Assistance with encouraging a student to seek mental health treatment
  • Inability to select a major
  • Substance abuse
  • Social withdrawal or difficulty making friends
  • Students expressing thoughts of suicide

How do I contact the Warmline?

The Warmline is available during our regular hours of operation by calling the Counseling Center at (301) 314-7651 and asking to speak with a counselor about your student-related concern. Our receptionist will take your information and a brief description of your concern to provide to one of our counselors, who will contact you within 24 hours of your call.

What if my concern for a student appears to be an immediate emergency?

The Warmline is NOT a crisis line. If you know of someone who is at immediate risk to self or others, please call the campus police department at 911 (from an on-campus phone) or (301) 405-3333 (from off-campus phone) or assist the person in getting to the nearest hospital emergency room.

Books

You’re On Your Own (But I’m Here if You Need Me): Mentoring Your Child During the College Years
By Marjorie Savage

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
by Julie Lythcott-Haims

Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years
By Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger

The iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow Up
By Barbara K. Hoefer and Abigail Sullivan Moore

I’ll Miss You Too: The Off-To-College Guide for Parents and Students
By Margo E. Woodacre MSW and Steffany Bane Carey

College Ready: Expert Advice for Parents to Simplify the College Transition
Edited by Chelsea Petree, Ph.D.

Give Them Wings 
By Carol Kuykendall

Lecture Notes: A Professor's Inside Guide to College Success
By Philip Freeman

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